Archive for the ‘Depression/Anxiety’ Category

Should’s vs. Supposed to’s

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

It seems that we humans have an ongoing inner struggle between “should’s” and “supposed to’s”.  Our brain is telling us what we “should” do from our memory banks.  Our DNA is telling us how it is “supposed to” be from our evolution.

Our instincts are constantly influencing our behaviors even though we don’t give them much credence these days.  They lead us to our mothers breast. They cause us to be gregarious.  We strive to learn and grow.  We have gender specific desires and idiosyncratic needs.  We grow through biologically motivated  developmental stages.  Etc…etc…etc.  Desire and sensation are the language of this aspect of self.

On the other hand we are influenced by a set of rules,  ideals,  implanted in the left lobe of our brain.  A “hard drive” so to speak that is programed into us by “parental figures”,religion, social pressures and “politically correct” demands. Even though these become embedded in our psyche, they may or may not be appropriate for the individual they are applied to. This “left brain” aspect of the individual communicates with words and strategies based on past experience.

Herein lies the rub.  Until both the instinctual and socially adaptive ideals are considered and consolidated in our life strategy we live with an internal struggle.  The struggle between what we want and what we prefer.  The wants (albeit “want” is a rather vague term)being instinctual and the preferred (preferred also having many meanings) being controlled by rules.  I propose that the preferences generally out-way the wants. Thus setting up the forum for depression and anxiety.

Until the individual devotes considerable effort to regain their instinctive awareness they will be continually swayed by the social propaganda.  The consolidation of the instinctual drives and social requirements can rarely be achieved without some reenactment of the past.  It requires a reenactment because the “shoulds” use language and the the “ought to’s” use action for their processing.

Physical law also mandates reenactment for change.  It states “one cannot change the past”.  One can only change its effect on us by reliving what has passed again in the present and thus diffusing the resulting negative charge.

Learn exactly who you are.  Accept it.  Learn about the human condition.  Accept it. Learn how nature works. Accept it.  Then honor your own personal life strategy. Designed this time by a functional adult, not a regressed 4 year old, struggling to survive.

“Voila”…….No more unnecessary depression or anxiety!

Michael Rebel LMHC.


Secrets by DH

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009

I’ve built an empty corridor
As far as my eyes can see
Along each side a row of solid doors
Doors to which I’ve thrown away the key

Mommy taught me well
To keep their contents secret
I was told to never tell
each room contained regret
I keep them in the attic
While I dwell merely one floor below
In my prison with walls so thick
The morning sun can never glow

In my self-made prison cell
I keep a smile upon my face
I wear it so that no one can tell
I’ve all but given up the race

My prison now feels like a tomb
It’s the worst loss I’ve ever known
You see the setting is my living room
And it’s purpose in my life that I have let go

I walk that lonely corridor alone and cold
The oaken doors weathered with age
And even though they still are closed
I can still feel all the hurt and locked up rage

With every breath I took
I tried to earn her heart
I never let anyone near enough to look
I promised her I’d keep them in the dark

One by one the locks are beginning to fail
I cannot kill them or make them go away
All my demons are free sail
And slowly I have lost my way

When I finally lock myself away
Behind those weathered doors
I will look to her and say…
See mommy, I really was your good girl
each and every day.

By Debbie Hawthorne


Clarification request

Sunday, September 13th, 2009

Interesting as I find this, I could use some further explanation and maybe examples of what natural laws are. To better understand “society is constantly striving for a way to escape living with them” (natural laws), examples of that would help me. Is there a reference that you have where I can go to find the definitions of terms? SB

A natural law of human existence might include the construct that determines our sense of well being.  The law being that the brain is to serve the heart not the reverse. The brain creates distortions to protect its files (paradigm).  Pain on the other hand is a biochemical communication requesting action from the brain.

When I am working with clients and reflecting what I have learned, I find that many of the persons using the “esoteric arts” are enlisting the skills and techniques to escape life instead of understanding and embracing our human existence.  An example would be the use of positive thinking to trick the body into believing everything is ok.  Example: a person suffering from chronic back pain using self hypnosis to block the pain.  Positive thinking is often but not always a form of self hypnosis, it is being used to override a body’s complaint (pain) creating the illusion of comfort.  The muscles that are twisting or miss aligning the spine continue to  send their complaint to the brain’s “decision centers”  but they go unheard and unheeded.  They are complaining because the need permission to behave differently.  This continued pressure keeps damaging the spinal column, sometime s ending in a crippling effect.

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Another natural law would be based on human survival.  Men are responsible for the well being of the women and the children.  If this function is removed from the man’s life mission they begin to go rogue.  The blending of gender roles has upset a natural set of behaviors that has continued for thousands of years and is incorporated in our DNA.  The rejection of male support, not to mean male dominance, has left men without purpose and has forced many of them to feminize, stay immature or become social dropouts.  I propose that the absence of strong, safe, mature males has caused women to become more aggressive, less maternal, and less capable of a good nights sleep.

There are many examples of discord that could be linked to ignoring natural instincts.

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Natural law of physical action states that “for every action there is an equal and oposite reaction”.  The belief in life without consequences is unfounded, the idea of a permanent state of happiness, and the concentration of focus on perfection is in direct conflict with this law.  I see much suffering and depression in clients when the strive for and fail to meet these unrealistic expectations.

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Friends Passing

Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009

I have recently experienced the deaths of several life long friends.  I shed some tears and felt some pain in my heart last night. Sleep came and reflection continued into dreamland.  I am glad they were part of my life.  The little vignettes that I shared with each were sweet to recall.  I am smiling now.  I awoke this morning acutely aware of making more memories with friends. I am looking forward to the funeral Wednesday to recall and celebrate what we all have created with our life experiences.




Friday, April 17th, 2009

Comfort is a biochemical state.  It is the hormonal cocktail preferred by the individual.  It consists of a unique formula of hormones within ones body.  The formula is concocted during the first 5 years of life.  Our system adapts to it and prefers it.  It becomes our homeostatic biochemical state.  We model our lives around situations that cause us to revisit this state.  It is in essence an addiction. We prefer it even though we profess to wanting something else we call happiness.  The medical profession then labels this discrepancy a “chemical imbalance” and sets out to to challenge it chemically.  Healing, breaking the habit (addiction),  is accomplished though breaking the old familial ties.

Michael Rebel LMHC