Archive for the ‘Boundaries’ Category

Because I love you! ??

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

Love is not desire.

Love is not sex.

Love is not jealousy.

Love is not fear.

Love is not anger.

Love is not confining.

Love is not questioning.

Love is not exclusivity.

Love is not a measure of goodness.

Love is not an excuse for anything.

Love does not justify anything.

Love does not guarantee anything.

Love is not trust.

Love is not safe.

Love is not painless.

Love is not rational.

Love is not irrational.

Love is not forever.

Love does not end.

Love is not relationship.

Love is not adoration.

Love is not friendship.

Love is not parenting.

Love is not nurturing .

Love is not protecting.

Love is not intimacy.

Etc. etc.

LOVE IS THE ENERGY THAT MOTIVATES THESE OTHER CHARACTERISTICS AND BEHAVIORS. LEARN HOW TO RECOGNIZE IT AND HOW TO AVOID THE FEARFUL BEHAVIORS THAT ACCOMPANY IT.

WE USE THE WORD LOVE IN SO MANY APPLICATIONS THAT ITS TRUE MEANING IS LOST.  EXPAND YOUR VOCABULARY.   USE THE ACCURATE TERMS INSTEAD OF BEING “VOGUISH” AND MISLEADING YOURSELF AND OTHERS.

Michael Rebel LMHC

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EMANCIPATION

Thursday, May 7th, 2009

An erroneous belief that is often accepted.  The omission of awareness concerning when a persons life becomes their own.  One is officially and instinctively emancipated around 18th birthday.

GET IT! After your 18th birthday your life belongs to you.

It is your responsibility to care for yourself.

It is your belief system that matters to you.

Each of you is to begin your own journey.

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Unconditional Love

Friday, March 13th, 2009

Unconditional loves indicates love that is based on total acceptance.  Totally without conditions and expectations or ideals.  It indicates the absence of need for control.  We have degraded this exceptional quality by proclaiming that we have it when in fact we are trying to control others by claiming the quality.  Unconditional love is not about parenting,  nurturing, protecting, romantic love, spirituality or biological bonding.  It requires an almost absolute faith, courage, strength and openness.  It is a goal we are to strive for.  It is something we as humans rarely accomplish except in brief moments of spiritual enlightenment.  We confuse our loved ones when we claim to posses it and then hold them accountable for our emotions.

REMEMBER: THE GREATEST GIFT WE CAN GIVE OUR LOVED ONES IS THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF LOVING ACCEPTANCE WE ARE CAPABLE OF.  AT THE SAME TIME BEING OPEN TO ADMIT THAT WE HAVE DEFICIENCIES AND ALLOWING THEM TO COMPENSATE FOR THESE LIMITATIONS.

Michael Rebel

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Natural teen developement

Friday, March 6th, 2009

Just what is “normal” behavior in a teen?  The developmental stage called teenager (adolescence) can be summed up as the “individuation from the family” stage.  Teens are biologically driven to remove the parental control from their decision making process.  If the family exerts too much resistance to the separation the teen will start to behave in more radical behaviors.  The teen believes subconsciously  that they must find a way to express themselves. To them this must be separate from the family trends.  It is natural for the teen to become obsessed with friends and peer pressure. They begin exploration, experimentation, and rebellious behaviors.  If the family becomes too, amenable it also results in the radical behaviors.  Ever wonder why if the parents like something or someone,  the teen will avoid that behavior or person?

The answer is in the natural developement of personal styles by the teen.

The key to successful parenting of teens is to be a strong role model.  Don’t be a dictator.  Stay out of their way as much as possible.

Michael Rebel LMHC

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Healing depression

Tuesday, February 24th, 2009

There are many types of depression and many causes.  Some are easily remedied and other are very deeply ingrained in one’s psyche.  The first I will adress is the most frequently occurring form that I encounter in my psychotherapy practice.  It is the depression that occurs when one turns one’s own anger upon themselves.  It is directly related to a prejudice against anger.  A belief that anger is bad.  Misused and out of context anger is definitely a problem.  Anger that is well managed and focused we actually have another word for, determination.  Because we are not taught to relate and differentiate the two forms of anger the first stage or “charging up” often is suppressed and builds up until we become enraged and explode.  Ironically the person who is prejudiced against anger suppresses the feeling until it cannot be controlled any longer.  They then dump the anger in an out of control situation.

The suppression of the emotion actually inhibits the attainment of focus, therefore it inhibits the power of determination. This then leaves the person highly susceptible to becoming a victim.

Michael Rebel

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