When one finds out that they have an exceptional child one is faced with decisions on how to assist in the nurturing of the special skills. Some children naturally adjust to all the attention and do not seem bothered by the added expectations. On the other hand some kids become ultra sensitive to being burdened with extra expectations. Generally the kids who have special skills in sports, intellect, and the performing arts are the most at risk for potential exploitation.
These children require challenges and an open forum to develop their skills. They often lose interest in education if they are held back to accommodate slower children. They are often smarter than their teachers and threaten them. Some create conflicts with authorities who become afraid of their potential to undermine or challenge authority. It can be a treacherous road or an exhilarating one depending upon the child’s personality. The environment’s flexibility for accommodating the child’s needs reduces risk of unnecessary stress..
If one is faced with this situation there are some simple but critical rules.
1. Absolutely do not let yourself get caught up in your expectations for the child’s future.
If this attachment to the child’s performance takes place the parent becomes blinded to the subtleties that cue when to challenge and when to express support. Remember they were not sent to you to solve your childhood issues but to highlight them.
2. Your child’s potential is a gift not a responsibility.
Their realization of potential will grow and actuate without your input as long as the child has a relatively stimulating environment to grow and learn in. If this growth becomes a “have too” there is risk of killing the natural enthusiasm for learning. The search for knowledge is inborn.
3. The process does not have to involve added expense, quite the contrary the high performer can create their own “stage”.
The same capacity to perform that makes them special is enhanced when they are allowed to develop their own foundation. They are handled best by mentoring not rigid monitoring. Self determinism allows them to use both the education from others and their own creativity in an ever expanding world of possibility.
4. Step aside, stay out of the way, and enjoy the ride.
There is plenty of excitement to share when around a gifted child. Don’t worry, be thankful and watch how the flower emerges on its own. Bear witness to a miracle.
