When one finds himself or herself feeling powerless to get what they want from their spouse or partner. It is a pretty good bet that the plaintiff is using their partner as a scapegoat. The refusal to take care of one’s own happiness is hidden within the blame directed toward the partner. If one was to admit full potency in their relationship they would forgo blaming and face ultimate self responsibility. They would have to accept that they are the source of their own unhappiness.
1. When a partner is asked directly, it is archetyic to want to please.
2. Partners cannot give feelings. They can invite opportunity.
3. Wanting the other partner to feel specific feeling is a desire for control and a violation of their right to be who they are if they are pressured.
4. Many of our life needs are better met by persons other than our mate. Don’t overburden the relationship unnecessarily.
5. Each individual is the only person who always nows what needs to be done for themselves.
6. Your partner is operating on an assumption unless asked specifically.
Michael Rebel LMHC
